Breastfeeding Journey: Why I chose to breastfeed

Breastfeeding Journey

I'm not expert. I don't have any certifications or coursework. All I have is experience. I'm a mom of 2 young children. I breastfed my first baby, Emma, for 25 months. She had been gradually weaning. I was pregnant with baby #2 and was ready for it to come to an end as it was excruciating to breastfeed while pregnant. I am breastfeeding baby #2, Eric, and have been going strong for 2 months and expect to continue for as long as we both enjoy it.

I'm so grateful there are resources at your fingertips and I spent my fair share googling and reading everything I could about breastfeeding. It can also be paralyzing when there's so much information that contradicts. The overwhelming information on breast is best so never supplement with formula or you will hurt your supply and bottles can cause nipple confusion but in the end fed is best. Power pump to increase your supply but don't pump until you go back to work because over supply can cause mastitis and clogged ducts. Just wow - no wonder I had postpartum anxiety.

One thing I wanted more of was stories and experiences from other moms. I received the best information from my mom friends in bits and pieces via late night dms and texts while night feeding. So consider me your mom friend. I will share my personal journey with you. 

Scrap those catchy mottos. My belief is do what is best for you and baby. That will vary from mom and baby. There's no one size fit all situation and it can vary baby to baby because the variables in your life will inevitably change. Breastfeeding is a mutual relationship that should only start and continue as long as both parties are willing. Breastfeeding is like another full time job and it should be one that you want to do willingly considering your mental well-being, the length of maternity leave, and the options when you return to work.

My reasons to breastfeed were actually different from my first baby to my second. Here I will detail my why to you.

Baby #1:

Why I chose to breastfeed

- I fully subscribed to breast is best. I read all the information on how breastmilk makes healthier and smarter babies and gosh darnit my baby will be the healthiest and smartest if I had anything to do with it.

Debunked: Lest not forget that I am a formula-fed baby myself and I was a healthy baby and was a straight A student. Many of my brilliant friends were formula-fed as well. Also so of my cousins were breastfed and eh, anecdotally there really is no significant difference. I have since read literature on how the benefits of breastfeeding as largely exaggerated and formula milk has since gotten better and better. There are so many benefits to formula feeding like being able to share feeding with your partner or any other caregiver (MORE SLEEP FOR MOM) which helps transitioning back to work easier for working moms.

- Lose weight. I was fully ingrained in diet culture and I hoped that breastfeeding would help me return to my pre-baby weight faster.

Debunked: The breastfeeding cravings were strong if not stronger than pregnancy cravings. I was ravenous and I LOVED sweets. During my postpartum with Emma, I made every cookie recipe under the sun and literally ate them all. Perhaps a dozen a day. I ate and snacked and drank so much water. My mouth would be parched like the desert with every session. I did not lose the baby weight but very much maintained it due to my new eating habits. Since my first baby, I also re-examined my relationship with my body and I'm in the process of unlearning diet culture. So losing "baby weight" is no longer a goal of mine.

- Breastmilk is "free". I didn't want to spend money on formula and felt I would save more money breastfeeding.

Debunked: There are so many products you need for breastfeeding from the nipple creams, pump, pump accessories, milk storage bags. So no, it's not "free" financially speaking. It's also a big time cost as well. Choosing to breastfeed means you are the sole feeder of baby and as we established, it can take as much time as a full time job. There are mental costs of being baby's sole feeder because there isn't relief or much sharing of feeding duties. You can make a case for feed sharing for pumping moms but you still have to spend time being strapped to a machine. 

Baby #2:

Why I choose to breastfeed

- Bonding time with baby. Turns out, I really enjoy the time spent breastfeeding my baby. I love holding my sweet baby and find it relaxing. When I return to work, it's time I will cherish and look forward to when I return.

- Confident in my experience. After nursing Emma for 2 years, I felt equipped to handle the challenges from engorgement to painful nipples and knowing my body to manage my own supply. 

- Delayed menstrual cycle. I actually didn't know how much I would love this. My cycle didn't return until Emma was 10 months old so I had almost gone 2 years without a period. So yes, I am very much enjoying the delayed return of my menstrual cycle.

Lastly, the biggest reason is that I want to. I fully understand the pros and cons of breastfeeding this time around and decided that I enjoyed it and want to breastfeed my second baby. The first time around, the reasons were externally focused and the second time, it was internal. It has created a significantly different breastfeeding experience due to this shift.